Back to Annotated Archive, Part Two
Past that, this was of course inspired by a run-in I had with the world of prescription drugs, something I normally avoid. They have silly names, so that's where the first panel came from. I knew I wanted a dinosaur, so there's your cartoon. Of course, Bob's threat to the pharmacist is lifted directly from Star Wars, in Ben Kenobi's warning to Darth Vader before their exciting battle. Star Wars rocks!
Ah, one of my all-time faves. This was one of those cartoons that started out very differently. The first few panels were the same, with the Wood Jam, but then he was supposed to take it back to the store, only to find that the beaver sales clerk and the termite manager weren't very understanding. I just didn't know if I could find a way to make that work, and while I was doodling about things, I drew Bob with beaver and termite features. Yay!I like this one because it's a crazy situation, and he finds a novel and interesting way to deal with it. It's a classic example of lateral thinking. And, up until that last panel, it seems like a sensible, Star Trek kind of solution. Of course injecting yourself with DNA will mutate you into a weird hybrid.
Note that the DNA canisters are labelled Ebola, Termite, Beaver, Cow, and Godzilla.
Quite a lame strip, all things considered, so there's not much to say, really. I had eaten some cinnamon candy hearts not that long ago; hence the cartoon. The only thing I even kind of like about this one is the use of the word "execrable", especially since it accompanies one of (I think) my most execrable strips. Another example of the old saying "Beware of doing strips about things that suck, because the strip itself may well suck, and then you'll look like a classic retard." Good saying, that. Thankfully, I was up to steam next week, and this one's one of my favorites. I wasn't entirely sure how I was going to end this cartoon; the original idea was that Bob would say something like "Let's quit this retarded game immediately before I kill each and every one of you", to which the others would respond, of course, "Yes, let's." Instead, I decided to use a funny punchline instead. The three people are (very) loose caricatures of people I know, though the resemblance ends there, if it even starts there. Still, it's nice and clean, and while it's certainly not Space Moose-level, it's still fairly mean, so I like it quite a bit. Ah... well, I came up with this one while confronted by the poverty on the streets of San Francisco-- not that there's any lack of poverty on the streets of Edmonton, but at least here a smaller percentage of the homeless and hopeless have urinated all over themselves. I mulled it over for a while and eventually put it together. Unfortunately, it's one of those strips that looks like total crap on the Internet, since I used a computer-generated screen for the fourth panel, the kind of thing that tends to scan like crap. It was an ambitious idea, but it's one of those graphical things you have to try every so often even if it means it might look bad, as it did here. Still an okay cartoon, I think.A friend pointed out that a recurring theme in the cartoon is advertising, and after I thought about it, I realized he was right. There's this one, as well as The Hard Hard Sell and... um... some other ones I can't remember right now.
Loved this one when I drew it, though I've gotten colder on it as time goes on, mainly because I think the art is rather weak. It's crowded and I didn't make very effective use of black, so that still bugs me. On a writing level I'm pretty happy with it; it's about time somebody really pinned down the primary limitation of most robots. Yeesh. This was laaaaazeeee. Basically I was so absolutely stuck for time, I had this idea, and I did it, even though I knew that it sucked. But I did it anyway, just cuz I wrote it out and so I figured I might as well do it, a situation that repeated itself a few cartoons later in Aqua Relax. This has long been one of my favorites, though nobody else likes it. I just think the art was really snappy in this one, especially the last panel, where I think I did a pretty swell job of putting together the railing, rigging and seawater, thank you very much. And what about that fifth panel, when Bob's just looking at him? That was one of those incredibly rare instances when the script actually runs short and I don't have any ideas for big splash panels. So we get a comtemplative little look at Bob looking at Remora Joe. What's wrong with that? Nothing, I say.Beyond that, there's not really all that much to this one. I sort of appreciate that the cook was actually ballsy enough to accompany Bob on his quest, and I also kind of appreciate that I was ballsy enough to not depict that epic struggle. And then, after all that, Freddie doesn't like the wings very much. Isn't life crazy that way?
Ah, a classic, even though I'm now very disappointed with the art. The third panel with all the kids doesn't have nearly enough black in it, and the composition is lousy. Still, it's a pretty good gag that got laughs from just about everybody who read it, so that made me feel good. This was the second cartoon I did for See, so it was kind of a relief to get one that I knew was funny. Again, nobody ever complained about the evil in Bob's behavior, but I was long past hoping that I would offend anybody.This is also the first appearance of a Bob design innovation that would become pretty important later on: the curled petals in panel six. It was just a gag at the time, and note how he reverts to normal for the punchline, but those 3D petals crawled into my head and stayed there, and they forced their way out a few cartoons later in Uke Fever.
Ah yes... this one. Actually, I kind of like this one, even though it's not really funny. Every so often I get a notion that takes ahold of me and won't let me go even though I know nobody's going to like it. This was one of those; it wasn't a gag so much as... an emotional observation? It was quite terrible and cruel, but I couldn't stop myself.Two art points. One, I was pretty happy with the way the ominous storm clouds turned out, and the last panel still drives me nuts because there should be a little bit of black under the top line of the right-hand reverse-relief spar of the cross on the gravestone. Yes, it's true -- I'm quite mad.
My brother asked if Johhny was supposed to be him, since they were both born in 1969. Actually I was referring to a dork I knew in University named Marty Tucker, a guy who aspired to own a big fat keychain with a lot of keys on it. Bless him, he achieved his ambition.
The price of scorn, of course, is remorse.
Ahhhh, See Magazine... you bunch of crazy jokers. This was one that I still look back at with fondness, and it's a pretty good example of how I sometimes write cartoons in such a way that you have to read the whole cartoon, and then go back and read the title. Here, for instance, Bob is "learning the hard way" that he actually likes rice cakes. Hilarious.Of course, when See Magazine printed this one, they somehow managed to chop off the two rightmost panels, the ones that say "As of today, you're on a strict diet..." and "Six long, long months later..." Somehow nobody noticed that this no longer made sense. Or rather, it made a kind of sense, but not the sense I was aiming at, particularly since the title of the cartoon didn't mean a damn thing any more. Faaaan-tastic.
I was particularly proud of the art in the collapsing-world panel, whch turned out almost exactly the way I'd pictured it when I came up with the idea. For me, that's pretty rare. It's a nice silhouette shot of Bob, too, so there's just all kinds of things to be happy about here.
Um, I guess this one is okay, but it's a pretty standard list-o-gags, the kind I try not to do too much of any more, though that didn't stop me from doing it in the first one I did for the Journal, "Why We Have Unions." Plus, the art on a few of the panels kind of pisses me off these days. Eh. Yay! I love Story Guy, and I only recently realized that he can be a semi-regular character. This is his first outing, though we were to see him again in The Return of a Character That Nobody Realy Wanted To See Again!. I was on a big story kick around this time, also doing "Listening to Enya" at the same time for Slur. Note, however, that Story Guy doesn't actually tell his story -- he just tells us that he's told the story. The story he's telling us, of course, is the story of how he met Bob the Angry Flower. A little recursion there, math fans. People liked Rags a lot, and I felt almost bad that he had to go, but I'm pretty sure that part of Story Guy's ongoing shtick is that he's got a different story animal every time we see him. So long, Rags.This is when I was still unclear as to exactly how far I wanted Bob to go. The sixth panel was orginally going to be Bob simply attacking Story Guy and trying to steal his sweater, with Story Guy screaming, "Story Dog! Help!" But in the end, I balked, thinking it was a pretty mean thing to do to outright steal the shirt off of somebody's back. I look at that now and think I must have been crazy to back down like that. Ah, a cartoon is always evolving.
On another note, I like the bar chick in panel eight, and I think I
did an unusually good job of faking my way through a drawing of a nightclub.
I do have some regrets about Bob's final line though. After it ran, I felt
like it should have been the obvious "Baby, it's a long story," or the
slightly more challenging "Baby, does it really matter?" Either way, he
should have said "Baby."
The blond gal ws loosely based on a Christian gal I knew at the time who, like many young people who claim to be Christian, wasn't really -- or at least it didn't seem to have any impact on her bitchy behavior. I also kind of dig the perspective on that last shot of the cross.
Ah, this was one I liked a lot when I did it, mostly because I was very happy with the way that first picture of Dexter Mobley turned out. The gag itself was just so damn stupid I had to use it. Note the bit of continuity, there, in Dexter's reference to Bob's Big Plans. Also note Doctor Doom in the first panel, and the back of a Dalek from Doctor Who in the background of panel two. God I'm funny. A bit of a twist on the three wishes gag, in that this time the genie doesn't offer wishes, he demands a sense! What a jerk! to me, the best part of this cartoon is the genie's irritated response "Five bucks isn't a sense!" I'm willing to bet that this simple sentence had never been expressed in human history before I came along. Plus, I also like to remind people that we have senses other than the traditional five.Actually, I cheated a bit on this one, twice. First, to be fair, a sense of outrage isn't really a sense either, but I guess the Lord of Bottles doesn't let himself get too wrapped up in semantics. Secondly, I originally had an entirely different last panel, in which Bob says, "I'm sure the prices they charge are fair," and the Lord of Bottles angrily retorting, "You're a RETARD!" For some reason I backed down on that one as well and redrew the panel. Can't even remember why any more.
Ah, another good one. By this time I was pretty happy with the 'toons I was doing for See, and this one is no exception. The good-conscience/bad-conscience gag is a pretty old one, but I like to think this one is not too bad. By my reading, Conan O'Brian has established the last word on this particular gag when he did the good-conscience/grizzly bear sketch, in which the good conscience tells him to behave properly, and the grizzly bear growls a lot and asks for honey. Ah, brilliant. In comparison, this one isn't that funny, but what can I say? I tried.This cartoon also features the unobtrusive debut of one of my little art "tricks," this one being the little dust of dots around the edges of panel seven. Before, when I wanted to jazz up a panel, I really on ly had two choices: do the whole thing in solid black, or do a lot of cross-hatched tomfoolery around the edges. Now I had an extra little thing to make the thing a little more vibrant.
I think I was actually making a bit of a comment here, in that sometimes one can come into a situation with the total moral upper hand and still be made to feel bad by someone with a talent for manipulation. By this time Bob was really becoming quite a bad person. Note also that I was using the dust of dots stuff I'd come up with in the previous cartoon, except with a little more sophistication, especially in the seventh panel, where Bob is running away into a misty black fog, kind of. This is a pretty transparently lazy cartoon. I'd come up with the idea, thought it would be fast and easy to draw, and away I went. And then it turned out I didn't know how to draw the Eifel Tower, so I ended up making a fool of myself. I'm also not very happy with the lunk's posture in panels five and six, but what can you do? Plus, the old leave-the-guy-standing-there-under-a-moon gag was a pretty cheap one, but hey -- I was on a deadline!Go to Annotated Archive, Part 4